If it were Me

I catch myself breathing again.
Could it be this way?
Was I so deathly close
to making the same mistake?
I keep playing it over and over
in my mind,
I realize, and I see,
If it were me...

Cause I think I know so much,
how much you must laugh.
Such a dangerous mistake
to take my own life back.
If it were me making hard desicions
if it were me crafting lifes sweet rythums
We'd be in ruins.
If it were me...

So many times I dive headfirst,
but you hold me back and show me the hearse
that would have been me,
cause I couldn't see.
So many days I feel that it'd be right
But you show the scars I'd get from the fight
What is inside of me is so sure of its own might.
I don't trust myself with my life.

Watching

I've been watching you.
I'm guilty from the corners of my eyes.
I've been learning too,
and I've been surprised.

There's something in the way you smile.
There's something in the way you speak.
I wish we could talk for awhile,
talk about the whys and ways we seek.
How could I describe it
makes me alive
there's something inside it
makes me think differently somehow
it makes me breath a little differently
then the way I'm breathin' now.

Maybe its who you are shining through your face,
or your simple honesty in your space,
or maybe its your confidence that comes in bursts and glows
maybe its your love of God who knows.

The Lost and Found

Always running from the truth.
Screaming from burning lungs,
"there's not enough proof!"
And so when Truth comes to get them out,
some prefer to stay in the Lost and Found

They believe there so in control,
but that's before they lose their soul.
They think there living by their own hand
safe in a no mans land,
but what they can't understand
is that the No Mans Land
lands in the hands of the Garbage man.

They kick and scream and fuss and cry
and say the truth must be a lie.
You can't sit on the fence your whole life.
Honey there is Black and White
Wrong and Right,
Were only skin,
were all gonna die,
like a vapor of sky,
we'll fade away like a starry night.
But our souls will carry on,
like a old familiar song.

Rememberence

The power of your gentleness,
the goodness of your kindness,
sweetest Jesus how you love me.

I am nothing as I sit here in the gutter,
yet you pull me out.
I still try to flutter away.

You hold my hand and lead me through snares I've set myself.
You defeat the Devil and carry me when I am not well.

You touch my eyes so I can see you.
You touch my ears so they can hear you.
You hold my hands, I can't understand this love,
and you give me more than enough.

Hold my mind in your hands,
don't let me stray from the Promised Land.

Hold me close.
Don't let me go even if I push you away.
Chase me down when I lose my mind.
Fight me when I kick and scream until I'm alright.
I'm so wayward and lost find me again.

I love you lovely Jesus.
Remind me again.

All Over Again

I hit my head on the wall again
I back at square one from one hundred
You'd think I'd learn after a thousand times
I know the only way to live is when my old self dies

I'm broken
I'm scattered
I've fallen apart
You must be crying
I must be breaking your heart
I'm wailing
I'm weeping
yet I'm still chasin'
still seekin'
every other god but You
And I'm scared to call out to you
All Over Again

So many times you've picked me up
Have you yet had enough?
Are you sick of me like I am
I've strayed away like a fallen lamb.
In my ignorance and insolence
I've built walls I can't break though
Can you tear me down, make me new, and then
start All Over Again

Liquid Soul

My shores are shaken by a raging sea
There's a distant thunder that's rumbling
The swells and sighs
of the oceans tide
make me realize
the waters inside myself.

I am a liquid soul that grows and dies
I have thick rich depths from storms I've cried
They move with gravity
Rage with depravity
Until you come and calm the qualmy sea
The Liquid Soul inside of me

When my anger rises and crashes down
and cold water foams
and the splashes sound
When the whirlwinds pull me under and my soul churns within
you are the one who pulls me out of the darkness seeping in.

Hey, My Name is Ashley

My name is Ashley, and I love writing. Not that Im much good at it, but its fun. I won't have much time to write, but I'll post when I can!

God Bless,

Ashley ( I know, such a super common name...)